with an ADD here and a BP there...eieio

Alright kids, so I've been incommunicado for a few weeks. If you'd been reading up till the last-ish post, I realize I've been moaning about my lack of creativity and whatnot, blah blah blah.

I even had the balls to call in a "maybe I'll do a list...I dunno...whatever". Yeeecchhh. I didn't. And so sorry for the utter lack of enthusiasm, but I do appreciate yours. Thanks, pallies.

If that didn't send current Followers and newcomers screaming in the opposite direction, I don't know what could have done otherwise. So thanks for hanging in, you supportive bloggy friends, you.

So, the update. I saw the nice couch doctor today and we really hit it off. I'd been preparing to meet with him tomorrow -- after a FOUR MONTH wait -- but his assistant called me this morning to ask me to come in today.

I balked. Was this a test? After all, I was mentally prepared to see him tomorrow and told her so. After some negotations back and forth, I agreed to the 3:30pm appointment she was "offering" and hung up the phone.

Can I tell you what a neurotic basket case I was for the next few hours?? I ate a sandwich. I watched an old episode of "IR Cold Cases" on A&E. (Note to self: don't do that during a full-tilt anxiety attack). Then I hopped in the shower, planning my first impression outfit as I got my shite together. After all, there would be plenty of time for him to see me with lank hair, sad eyes, no make up, etc. etc.. I wanted him to meet the person I can pull out of a hat if need be.

I waffled on whether to do mascara. What if I cried full stop at this first meeting? I threw caution to the wind and did full face, and by the time I was ready to go I could have been heading out to a go-see at an agency or a club night with friends (my style limbos depending on my mood but it's all based on classic, elegant, funky, sexy which I sometimes combine together. Today featured my recent uniform of leather jacket, leggings and flat black over-the-knee boots). I've gained much weight on this recent med and the skinny jeans that used to be my friends are now polite acquaintances.

Morroccan Oil has smoothed my hair as much as the meds have smoothed my mood swings. So once the 'do was done, I felt pretty good, wrapped a lilac pashmina around my neck and headed out to meet the doctor who will hopefully change my life for the better.

Alright, enough with the shallow chat. I met the doctor -- he appears as if Rick Moranis and Peter Bogdonovich had had a son together -- we chatted conversationally, he asked questions, I answered them with abandon. After all, why kid or act coy at this stage in my life? I mean, seriously: it's gotten to the point at age 46 where I'm belatedly sitting with a shrink and feeling like a contestant on "The Biggest Loser" except all I have to lose is my dignity (short term) and all I have to gain is my self-respect (long term).

He handed me a couple of official doctor-y looking questionnaires that I filled out in record time and gave them back with a hollow laugh. I sooooo recognized myself in both.

And so, not only has bi-polar been confirmed but I also have a raging case of ADD. If only I'd done as well with scholastic tests as I'd done with these ones.

Ha! No wonder I did so poorly in school after grade six, although Mr. Dr. took measures to emphasis that despite these diagnoses, I am a very bright, intelligent and creative person.

Obviously there are some very mucky personal things that I won't be sharing here but this is the update on the old-ish BPD and the new ADD thing.

Also, a new med -- yet another mood stabilizier -- has been introduced to play in the sandbox with the other two. This should be interesting because he warned me that my mood might "shoot up" over the next few days. So if I happen to appear on your doorstep in say, Calgary, LA, or Upstate New York for the weekend, you've been warned. I like Saint Agur blue cheese, 12-grain multi-bread, fried eggs medium, and bamboo sheets. Other than that, I'm a delightful guest.

Stay tuned with my thanks.

spam i am...not

OK...sorry. Seems my comment tool is attracting, well, tools. So, once again, I must enforce the dreaded verify thingy.

Also, I realize I've been offline for a week or so. Guess I could do a list...I dunno....your thoughts?

happy halloween rerun: i would be the "haunted house"

This was one of my first posts back in March. I thought it might be apropos to run it again on the most spookiest of nights: Halloween.

What are you doing tonight? I was supposed to dress up as a slutty biker chick but Jewy's sick and so I'm staying in with a big sandwich and a few episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".

Could my Halloween be any scarier? Anyway....here's the rerun:

*****

Awhile back, a few colleagues and I were standing around talking about non-work-related issues. I forget what triggered the idea but I suddenly asked them, "If you were an amusement park ride, which one would you be?".

A couple of people said they'd be the rollercoaster. Obvious enough but a good metaphor for life's ups and downs. One woman said she'd be the swan ride because even though she's calm, cool and collected on the surface, there's lots going on underneath and it ain't pretty. Another good metaphor. (Seeing the pattern yet?).

I said I would be "The Haunted House". Here's why:

"It's really fun at the beginning but when you're about halfway through there's a lot of screaming and crying and skeletons coming at you from everywhere and when it's finally done, you have less money than you started out with."

Come to think of it, I may have been referring to my role in present and past relationships. Heh.

So which amusement park ride best describes you?

the new "chocolate rain"?

There are no words. I literally have no words. Acronyms, yes, but no words.

OMFG.

This is probably going to loop in your brain for the rest of the day. You've been warned.




Credit for this gem must go to LiLu over at livitluvit. I still like her, though.

once again, it's all about meme

It's been awhile since I've done one of these and must give credit where it is due, i.e. Sunday Stealing. Check the site out to play along.

Here's my Rorschach reaction of answers to the following questions:

1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Besides the XWIL or my ex? Well then, I guess any of the Kardashian sisters would suffice.

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? Obviously I'd rather hold it until I get home but let's get real here: I'm 46 and the slightest laugh or sneeze sends me clamp-kneed and running for the nearest restroom. Sad and so sexy I know but true. If duty calls in public, I flush, wash and open the door with papered prowess until I'm outta there.

3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Always. And I scold my own passengers to do same. I firmly believe that Princess Diana would still be alive if she had worn a seatbelt in the backseat of that limo. I always wear a seatbelt in taxis, too.

4. Do you have a crush on someone? Always.

5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Neutrogena Pore Refining Cleanser. I'm addicted to it and am always worried it'll be discontinued. Either that or bread.

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? When I was still a redhead I used to get Cynthia Nixon aka "Miranda" all the time. Recently I've heard Cindy McCain (!!!) and Nicole Kidman (sans frozen Botox face, I hope).

7. What is your favourite pizza topping? Another slice.

8. Do you crack your knuckles? Certainly not.

9. What song do you hate the most? Anything performed by Mariah Carey or Beyonce in the last few years. I am done with these divas.

10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? Yes. I am now looping "Halo" continuously and will probably do so for the next few days.

11. What are your super powers? I'd rather not answer this. My parents read my blog.

12. Peppermint or spearmint? You mean "Satan's mint"? Peppermint will always rule The Mint Kingdom.

13. Where are your car keys? Over there on the side table by the front door.

14. Last song you listened to? A classical piece played over the intercom in the subway station. I think they pipe it in to keep the sketchy dudes peaceful, for the same reason mental institutions are painted pink.

15. What's your most annoying habit? I fidget and fuss. And I smoke. So sorry.

16. Where did you last go on vacation? Parry Sound, Ontario. We went camping on a private island for 5 days with our friends and it was bliss.

17. What is your best physical feature? My eyes.

18. What CD is closest to you right now? They're organized out of sight and I never play them, so no idea.

19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Milk, some kind of moldering melon, and ketchup.

20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I try not to step on sidewalk cracks lest I break my mother's back.

21. What colour are your bed sheets? Random combo of blue and white.

22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? "I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away"......

23. Last thing you broke? My budget.

24. What are you having to eat tonight? Ummmm....it's bad. Very bad and lazy: Jane's Chicken Nuggets and crinkle cut fries. There was supposed to be steamed broccoli but it didn't happen. We had carrot sticks for dessert. Does that count?

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? Army green long-sleeve tee under brown v-neck cashmere pullover. Why am I so cold so soon??

26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? It would involve a deep tissue massage, an OPI "Midnight in Moscow" mani-pedi, full head highlights by Matt, a really healthy lunch involving tabouli, and then a shopping spree at Restoration Hardware for new window coverings and accessories.

27. Do security cameras make you nervous? Only if I'm having a bad hair day.

28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? "I Wouldn't Want to Make An Evening Out Of That!": Essays From a Descendant of The Mayflower"

29. Last time you went to a cemetery? No idea. I can tell you the last time I SHOULD have gone to the cemetery: last summer when I was visiting family out West, I meant to visit my Grandma and got all caught up in the few days we were visiting nearby. She died in 2002 and was such a force in my life. I know I'll get there again soon and feel terrible that I didn't fit it in to the visit.

30. Last concert you went to? James Taylor. SIX years ago!!!

31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? James Taylor. Pink Floyd. Supertramp. Gawd, I'm old.

32. Next concert you're planning to attend? None planned.

33. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, and then I blog it. You're welcome.

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? I've only adopted cats from the Humane Society and their average life expectancies have been 17 years old. The only pet I ever purchased was a gerbil I snuck into the house when I was 12 years old. I bought it at K-Mart and why they let me buy it is still a mystery today. Ask my Dad how impressed he was when he got home from work and discovered that I'd used 4 rolls of toilet paper to make a shredded paper nest and crafted a Flintstone car out of the empty rolls for the furry little guy. Needless to say, the gerbil was returned to the pet store that evening for a full refund.

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? Yes, despite the fact that singular, store-bought rodents were discouraged when I was growing up, rampant litters of kittens borne to our two unspayed female cats were a great blessing to our home for many, many years. Thankfully, my psychiatrist and I are working through this and I have Great Expectations for our work together in this regard.

OK...I've said my piece. Carry on if you so desire.

Yap later.

chillax. it's just tuna fish.

My buddy DuPree has done it again. I tell you, people, if you're not already following chlorine in the gene pool, just what exactly are you waiting for? An embossed invitation delivered in the beak of a dove?

He was talking about words and phrases that set his teeth on edge. Apparently "crisp" makes him faint.

My trigger words and phrases are vast, but I can whittle them down to three:

Chillax. This is the bastard child of "chill" and "relax". I think its use should be outlawed. Especially in advertising.

Tuna Fish. Isn't this just stupid? I mean, by simply saying "tuna" are we not already implying that it is of the piscine species? After all, tuna are not poultry. Or beef. Or cheese. They're fish, dammit. Stop saying tuna fish, please.

And finally, my phrasal nemesis:

Happy Monday. People who say this deserve a punch in the throat. There is nothing "happy" about a Monday unless you happen to have the day off. The perky, Pollyanna geniuses who came up with this irritating little phrase are probably responsible for the Always campaign "Have a happy period"!

So? What word or phrase makes you cringe?

Yap later.

the one where I'm wrong....again

Oh boy. Did I ever get this wrong.

Back in August, I received an award from a bloggy friend and through a maaaajor misunderstanding on my part -- whether it was from my mindset at the time or what (go figure) -- I thought it was called the I Shoulda Been a Stripper Award.

Apparently, I was wrong. Way wrong. In fact, it was a Premium Meme Award that had originated from Chrissy at I Shoulda Been a Stripper.

So people....if you've received a cute award with this title, please know the credit should go to Chrissy and her wonderful blog. Check her out...she's funny, honest and someone you should follow. She was gracious enough to contact me with a friendly "huh?" and I think I'd feel exactly the same way if an award showed up in the blogisphere entitled "I Don't Care For Your Tone" without my consent slash knowledge.

Total misunderstanding on my part. Mea culpa.

So....if you DID receive this award, please replace the image on your sidebar like so:

This is the original award. My post of August 11th started out with an Easter peeps strip show image that I'd used just as an intro -- and was so delighted to use again because I'd originally used it back in April -- and I think that's partly where the confusion started.

Thanks everyone.

And to my Canadian friends, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you spend this long weekend with your most cherished family and friends, giving thanks for everything that makes you appreciate every day on this planet.

edder

p.s. an average turkey dinner contains 4,000 calories :-)

working 9-5.....not

Does anyone out there have any experience with etsy.com? I ask because I'm thinking about getting back into the jewellery business.

Some background: about 7-ish years ago when I was a disgruntled Communications & Events Manager for a large telecommunications company, a friend/colleague and I started a little business making jewellery and selling it at home parties, i.e. bridal showers, Girls' Nights. etc.. I'm not going to lie. We made a killing. However...the original plan was that I was going to be the creative brains and hands who came up with the designs and actual handiwork -- which I excelled at, thankyouverymuch -- and my friend/colleague, being the sales guru and all, was going to be the marketing brains and brawn behind our dynamic duo.

Sadly, marketing brains and brawn a) got all creative on me even though she was all thumbs, and b) started having babies in addition to holding down a new full-time job. We stabbed at it together for about a year or so before parting ways rather amicably.

So now....it's 2009, I'm at loose ends career-wise and thinking about doing the jewellery gig again. I want to work from home -- especially since I'm not ready to go back to anything full time right now -- and most importantly, love making jewellery. Many of my creations have been sold privately as well as at an art gallery in Prince Edward County, Ontario.

But etsy? Anyone? Should I take a stab at it or try to keep it local? Etsy just seems to be overrun with jewellery and I know in my heart that I can do as well or even better than some of the existing sellers out there.

Any advice you folks have out there in Bloggyland would be much appreciated.

Just to give you an idea about what I'm talking about, here are three pieces that I made and sold in 2004 (forgive the photo quality and scale...also, prices were suggested at the time. All clasps, etc. are always 925 Sterling Silver):



Thanks everyone in advance for your comments and suggestions.

Yap later.