happy halloween rerun: i would be the "haunted house"

This was one of my first posts back in March. I thought it might be apropos to run it again on the most spookiest of nights: Halloween.

What are you doing tonight? I was supposed to dress up as a slutty biker chick but Jewy's sick and so I'm staying in with a big sandwich and a few episodes of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".

Could my Halloween be any scarier? Anyway....here's the rerun:

*****

Awhile back, a few colleagues and I were standing around talking about non-work-related issues. I forget what triggered the idea but I suddenly asked them, "If you were an amusement park ride, which one would you be?".

A couple of people said they'd be the rollercoaster. Obvious enough but a good metaphor for life's ups and downs. One woman said she'd be the swan ride because even though she's calm, cool and collected on the surface, there's lots going on underneath and it ain't pretty. Another good metaphor. (Seeing the pattern yet?).

I said I would be "The Haunted House". Here's why:

"It's really fun at the beginning but when you're about halfway through there's a lot of screaming and crying and skeletons coming at you from everywhere and when it's finally done, you have less money than you started out with."

Come to think of it, I may have been referring to my role in present and past relationships. Heh.

So which amusement park ride best describes you?

the new "chocolate rain"?

There are no words. I literally have no words. Acronyms, yes, but no words.

OMFG.

This is probably going to loop in your brain for the rest of the day. You've been warned.




Credit for this gem must go to LiLu over at livitluvit. I still like her, though.

once again, it's all about meme

It's been awhile since I've done one of these and must give credit where it is due, i.e. Sunday Stealing. Check the site out to play along.

Here's my Rorschach reaction of answers to the following questions:

1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Besides the XWIL or my ex? Well then, I guess any of the Kardashian sisters would suffice.

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? Obviously I'd rather hold it until I get home but let's get real here: I'm 46 and the slightest laugh or sneeze sends me clamp-kneed and running for the nearest restroom. Sad and so sexy I know but true. If duty calls in public, I flush, wash and open the door with papered prowess until I'm outta there.

3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Always. And I scold my own passengers to do same. I firmly believe that Princess Diana would still be alive if she had worn a seatbelt in the backseat of that limo. I always wear a seatbelt in taxis, too.

4. Do you have a crush on someone? Always.

5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Neutrogena Pore Refining Cleanser. I'm addicted to it and am always worried it'll be discontinued. Either that or bread.

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? When I was still a redhead I used to get Cynthia Nixon aka "Miranda" all the time. Recently I've heard Cindy McCain (!!!) and Nicole Kidman (sans frozen Botox face, I hope).

7. What is your favourite pizza topping? Another slice.

8. Do you crack your knuckles? Certainly not.

9. What song do you hate the most? Anything performed by Mariah Carey or Beyonce in the last few years. I am done with these divas.

10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? Yes. I am now looping "Halo" continuously and will probably do so for the next few days.

11. What are your super powers? I'd rather not answer this. My parents read my blog.

12. Peppermint or spearmint? You mean "Satan's mint"? Peppermint will always rule The Mint Kingdom.

13. Where are your car keys? Over there on the side table by the front door.

14. Last song you listened to? A classical piece played over the intercom in the subway station. I think they pipe it in to keep the sketchy dudes peaceful, for the same reason mental institutions are painted pink.

15. What's your most annoying habit? I fidget and fuss. And I smoke. So sorry.

16. Where did you last go on vacation? Parry Sound, Ontario. We went camping on a private island for 5 days with our friends and it was bliss.

17. What is your best physical feature? My eyes.

18. What CD is closest to you right now? They're organized out of sight and I never play them, so no idea.

19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Milk, some kind of moldering melon, and ketchup.

20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I try not to step on sidewalk cracks lest I break my mother's back.

21. What colour are your bed sheets? Random combo of blue and white.

22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? "I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away"......

23. Last thing you broke? My budget.

24. What are you having to eat tonight? Ummmm....it's bad. Very bad and lazy: Jane's Chicken Nuggets and crinkle cut fries. There was supposed to be steamed broccoli but it didn't happen. We had carrot sticks for dessert. Does that count?

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? Army green long-sleeve tee under brown v-neck cashmere pullover. Why am I so cold so soon??

26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? It would involve a deep tissue massage, an OPI "Midnight in Moscow" mani-pedi, full head highlights by Matt, a really healthy lunch involving tabouli, and then a shopping spree at Restoration Hardware for new window coverings and accessories.

27. Do security cameras make you nervous? Only if I'm having a bad hair day.

28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? "I Wouldn't Want to Make An Evening Out Of That!": Essays From a Descendant of The Mayflower"

29. Last time you went to a cemetery? No idea. I can tell you the last time I SHOULD have gone to the cemetery: last summer when I was visiting family out West, I meant to visit my Grandma and got all caught up in the few days we were visiting nearby. She died in 2002 and was such a force in my life. I know I'll get there again soon and feel terrible that I didn't fit it in to the visit.

30. Last concert you went to? James Taylor. SIX years ago!!!

31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? James Taylor. Pink Floyd. Supertramp. Gawd, I'm old.

32. Next concert you're planning to attend? None planned.

33. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, and then I blog it. You're welcome.

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? I've only adopted cats from the Humane Society and their average life expectancies have been 17 years old. The only pet I ever purchased was a gerbil I snuck into the house when I was 12 years old. I bought it at K-Mart and why they let me buy it is still a mystery today. Ask my Dad how impressed he was when he got home from work and discovered that I'd used 4 rolls of toilet paper to make a shredded paper nest and crafted a Flintstone car out of the empty rolls for the furry little guy. Needless to say, the gerbil was returned to the pet store that evening for a full refund.

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? Yes, despite the fact that singular, store-bought rodents were discouraged when I was growing up, rampant litters of kittens borne to our two unspayed female cats were a great blessing to our home for many, many years. Thankfully, my psychiatrist and I are working through this and I have Great Expectations for our work together in this regard.

OK...I've said my piece. Carry on if you so desire.

Yap later.

chillax. it's just tuna fish.

My buddy DuPree has done it again. I tell you, people, if you're not already following chlorine in the gene pool, just what exactly are you waiting for? An embossed invitation delivered in the beak of a dove?

He was talking about words and phrases that set his teeth on edge. Apparently "crisp" makes him faint.

My trigger words and phrases are vast, but I can whittle them down to three:

Chillax. This is the bastard child of "chill" and "relax". I think its use should be outlawed. Especially in advertising.

Tuna Fish. Isn't this just stupid? I mean, by simply saying "tuna" are we not already implying that it is of the piscine species? After all, tuna are not poultry. Or beef. Or cheese. They're fish, dammit. Stop saying tuna fish, please.

And finally, my phrasal nemesis:

Happy Monday. People who say this deserve a punch in the throat. There is nothing "happy" about a Monday unless you happen to have the day off. The perky, Pollyanna geniuses who came up with this irritating little phrase are probably responsible for the Always campaign "Have a happy period"!

So? What word or phrase makes you cringe?

Yap later.

the one where I'm wrong....again

Oh boy. Did I ever get this wrong.

Back in August, I received an award from a bloggy friend and through a maaaajor misunderstanding on my part -- whether it was from my mindset at the time or what (go figure) -- I thought it was called the I Shoulda Been a Stripper Award.

Apparently, I was wrong. Way wrong. In fact, it was a Premium Meme Award that had originated from Chrissy at I Shoulda Been a Stripper.

So people....if you've received a cute award with this title, please know the credit should go to Chrissy and her wonderful blog. Check her out...she's funny, honest and someone you should follow. She was gracious enough to contact me with a friendly "huh?" and I think I'd feel exactly the same way if an award showed up in the blogisphere entitled "I Don't Care For Your Tone" without my consent slash knowledge.

Total misunderstanding on my part. Mea culpa.

So....if you DID receive this award, please replace the image on your sidebar like so:

This is the original award. My post of August 11th started out with an Easter peeps strip show image that I'd used just as an intro -- and was so delighted to use again because I'd originally used it back in April -- and I think that's partly where the confusion started.

Thanks everyone.

And to my Canadian friends, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you spend this long weekend with your most cherished family and friends, giving thanks for everything that makes you appreciate every day on this planet.

edder

p.s. an average turkey dinner contains 4,000 calories :-)

working 9-5.....not

Does anyone out there have any experience with etsy.com? I ask because I'm thinking about getting back into the jewellery business.

Some background: about 7-ish years ago when I was a disgruntled Communications & Events Manager for a large telecommunications company, a friend/colleague and I started a little business making jewellery and selling it at home parties, i.e. bridal showers, Girls' Nights. etc.. I'm not going to lie. We made a killing. However...the original plan was that I was going to be the creative brains and hands who came up with the designs and actual handiwork -- which I excelled at, thankyouverymuch -- and my friend/colleague, being the sales guru and all, was going to be the marketing brains and brawn behind our dynamic duo.

Sadly, marketing brains and brawn a) got all creative on me even though she was all thumbs, and b) started having babies in addition to holding down a new full-time job. We stabbed at it together for about a year or so before parting ways rather amicably.

So now....it's 2009, I'm at loose ends career-wise and thinking about doing the jewellery gig again. I want to work from home -- especially since I'm not ready to go back to anything full time right now -- and most importantly, love making jewellery. Many of my creations have been sold privately as well as at an art gallery in Prince Edward County, Ontario.

But etsy? Anyone? Should I take a stab at it or try to keep it local? Etsy just seems to be overrun with jewellery and I know in my heart that I can do as well or even better than some of the existing sellers out there.

Any advice you folks have out there in Bloggyland would be much appreciated.

Just to give you an idea about what I'm talking about, here are three pieces that I made and sold in 2004 (forgive the photo quality and scale...also, prices were suggested at the time. All clasps, etc. are always 925 Sterling Silver):



Thanks everyone in advance for your comments and suggestions.

Yap later.

75...no jive

How did this happen?!? It seems like I just posted a thank you to my 50th Follower and now there are 25 new lovelies just chomping at the bit for the new revelations that churn away in my brain like [insert simile here].

Heh. I jest. My ego doesn't really go there anymore.

As you may know, there has been much weirdness and upheaval since July when I hit the big 5-0 (Followers, that is. I'm not 50 years old...yet....not that there's anything wrong with it), so I'm curious whether people are following me because of the bipolar thing and are interested in knowing more about it...or what. I certainly don't think I'm as funny or creative as I used to be, especially since the meds started kicking in at the beginning of August, and I've shared that with you all. It's very strange.

So, indulge me for a moment. I think it's a combo of a few things:

• I have many, MANY loyal and wonderful "followers" who I don't even think of as such anymore. They're simply friends now.
• My old wit and quirkiness is still there but it's trapped under a creative gravy skin. I'm still hot and salty underneath, but there's a thick, goopy layer I can't seem to break out of without giving it much effort and that's very frustrating. What used to come easily to me prior to the diagnosis and subsequent battery of meds is no longer second nature.
• People identify with my diagnosis. Being bipolar isn't contagious -- unless it runs in your family, so nevermind -- and the majority of us -- again, many of you have BP friends and family -- the majority of us are fabulous and funny, caring and considerate, and just like you. Except, of course, for the whole painting-the-ceiling-blue-with-a-3"-inch-brush-by-yourself thing. Thank gawd those days are over.

It all comes down to this: thank you, friends & cohorts, family & followers, for checking in and keeping in touch. It really means a lot. I hope that by following my wee blog, you'll not only get to know me and what being bipolar feels like, you'll also meet some wonderful people, think, laugh, bitch, gossip and maybe pick up a recipe or two along the way.

Yap later.

p.s. I hope you know that I always try to reciprocate on the Following thing and do my best to reply to Comments as best I can. Some days are easier than others...and some blogs have Comments settings that kick me out. I try not to take it personally ;) Just bear with me. Thanks.

friday rerun: i'm so profound

Life is like vacuuming in the dark. You just have to trust that you're picking up the right stuff along the way.